#MNR: FINISH LINE STUMBLE

#MNR: FINISH LINE STUMBLE
 
“Menace to society, cough up some blood like Kane did. If he survive from this shit he gon be brain dead.”
YS
 
“If I got legs, bitch you know I’m gonna get it.”
Young Thug
 
Teach, I don’t know what to tell you, other than the dog ate my homework. I know it sounds both absurd and cliched, but it’s true. I had my homework done – in its entirety. I promise...
 
Nigga. I had five whole Microsoft Word pages of #MNR paying tribute to the 2024 Paris Olympics. The blog was aptly titled “The Gold Standard.” I went downstairs to grab a bite to eat and came back to a Mac hotter than a genuine $80 Movado on 7th Avenue purchased from a gentleman posted just a few blocks up from Macys. I feared my beloved Mac had transcended to computer heaven. I panicked for (literally) 3.5 seconds. I regained my legendary cool and waited for my Mac to turn on. It finally did. But when I unlocked it, my blog was Swiss cheese. It was full of holes; only a small portion was saved. I swore I saved it a couple of times throughout the laborious process. I swore wrong. C’est la vie. The show must go on. Considering the tragedy, my Olympics wrap-up won’t be as extensive, but I will try to recreate a bit of the lightning I captured in that bottle.
 
The best part about the Opening Ceremonies was being able to watch about an hour of it in class with one of my babies. Bray and I watched as athletes from around the world grouped with their countrymen and countrywomen in ceremonial garb (Ralph Lauren for America) on boats that gently sailed down the Seine river. Bray took interest in the countries and number of participants. He pronounced many of the countries with a great deal of accuracy – an amazing feat for an eleven-year-old learner of any ability. He and I also watched our fellow 212 homegirl Lady Gaga do her thing. We had a good time watching everything together. His surprising interest in Opening Ceremonies meant everything.
 
The women’s track and field team commanded most of my attention and appreciation at the 2024 games. After all, who doesn’t want to see a plethora of beautiful and perfect physical specimens, complete with six-packs and angelic faces? Fuck what you think. I do. Ju and I went over so many names my first time around writing the blog. Track and field is her thing, and she, too, is an Olympics aficionado. The names remain, but a lot of the backstory was lost with the initial blog. Irrespective of my calamity, let’s try to make it happen again.
 
My niece Sha’Carri Richardson, after being removed from the team prior to the 2020 (2021) Tokyo games for smoking a spliff with my bro Drell and me, redeemed herself in Paris. After falling a tick short of gold and claiming a silver in the 100m, she led the 4x100m relay team to gold in dramatic fashion. Melissa Jefferson, Gabby Thomas, Tee Tee Terry, and Sha’Carri were behind 0.18 seconds (an eternity in real time) when Sha’Carri took the baton for the anchor leg. Not only did she walk (run) the competition down, but she also took a now iconic glance to her right as she blazed past Great Britain to first cross the finish line and secure gold for the USA. Big ups to Gabby, who also won gold in the 200m. Big ups to Melissa Jefferson, who also claimed bronze in the 100m. The ladies 4x400m relay team cruised to its eighth straight gold medal. Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone (who also won gold in the 400m hurdles), Gabby Thomas, Shamier Little, and Alexis Holmes smoked the competition on the world’s grandest stage. Big ups to Tara Davis-Woodhall for winning the gold in Long Jump. Way to get your Jackie Joyner-Kersey on, boo. I’m exceedingly proud of the ladies who dominated the Paris Olympics.
 
I want to give a special shout out to NYC native Lauren Scruggs for her gold medal as a part of the U.S. Team Foil-Fencing. She also claimed a silver medal in Individual Foil-Fencing. We love you, lil mama. Big ups to Queens County. Queens ladies to the exit, she out.
 
That was a Mobb Deep reference for those who don’t know. #Queensmatic
 
Congratulations to Algerian boxer Imane Khelif, gold medal winner in Women’s Boxing, 66kg. Though the name may not ring a bell, her story is well-known. She is the woman who has been accused of not being born a cis woman. The origin has been linked to Russian disinformation (innovators of the particular act of fuckery) and has been a talking point of ignorant MAGAt shitheads like Donald J. Chump as well as J.K. Rowling, the world’s most ignorant children’s books author. In the spirit of Snoop Dogg – 1992 Snoop, not 2024 Snoop, who absolutely stole the show on the world’s biggest stage, “Donald tRump can eat a big fat dick! J.K. Rowling can eat a big fat dick!”
 
The U.S. men also fared very well on the track at the Paris games. The 4x400m relay team claimed its third consecutive gold medal. Anchored by 400m gold medal winner Rai Benjamin (peace to Money Earnin’ Mount Vernon), the team also included Chris Bailey, Vernon Norwood, and Bryce Deadmon. Sadly, 400m winner Quincy Hall injured a leg and couldn’t compete in the final for the opportunity at a second gold. The “other” Quincy, sixteen-year-old prep phenom Quincy Wilson, received a gold medal for running the first leg of the first preliminary race. Noah Lyles was able to rightfully earn the title of “Fastest Man Alive,” claiming gold in the 100m. He was unable to double up and win the 200m, instead winning bronze and acquiring COVID along the way.
 
Perhaps the most “Olympic famous” athlete had to be shooter Yusuf Dikec of Turkey, who wowed the world with his deadeye shooting in the 10mm Air Pistol Mixed Team competition. Although he and his partner fell just short of gold, the world will forever remember Dikec for his calm stance, steady arm, and both eyes open accuracy. That man hit bullseye like four or five times in a row. I’m oh so glad he isn’t a park or drive-by shooter. Gangsta.
 
In a summary of U.S. team sports, Women’s Soccer claimed gold in a boring 1-0 win over Brazil. Women’s Basketball narrowly escaped Paris with its eighth consecutive gold medal in a one-point win over host country France. It was clear that the referees channeled their inner U.S. high school referee mentalities, as they tried their best to cheat in France’s favor. Sorry. Too much A’ja Wilson and Jackie Young. I BEGGED Coach Reeve to press those French ladies, but she didn’t listen. I’m glad we escaped with the gold. The men (yawns) also won its fifth consecutive gold since the debacle of 2004 (I, personally, appreciate any medal). Chef Curry cooked up four straight 3’s down the stretch to lead Team USA to an eleven-point win over host nation France and “The Alien” Victor Wembanyama. That’s that.
 
Final tally: USA won 126 medals in total, 35 more than second place China, although China tied us with 40 gold medals. Russian athletes were banned due to the invasion of Ukraine, although 15 Russians competed as “Individual Neutral Athletes.” Look, I don’t fuck with Commies, but I’m big on sticking to your side. I don’t know how many medals these 15 athletes won, if any. I also don’t give a fuck.
 
One thing about the Olympics I love is the national comradery. Slave labor built America’s economic system as well as lower Manhattan. Translation: this is MY shit. Fuck Francis Scott Key and Betsy Ross, but that flag is as much mine as it is anyone else’s. I’m proud of Team USA. I love the fact that so many of my fellow countrymen and countrywomen feel the same way. Sports unite. It’s always sad to see the games draw to a close. Four years seem like forever. But when it’s time, we are giddy and eager for the games to begin. 2028 is ours. I’ll see you all in Los Scandalous for the games. Until then, keep checking in every Monday (at times Tuesday) night. I’ll leave the door open and save a seat by the fireside. And you already know I’m going to pass my tree your way. It’s even better when you bring your own pack. 1+1 = more than one, damn it. Blessings.
 
Peace to Tina Rose. We’ll always have the 2008 Beijing Opening Ceremonies.
 
BONUS COVERAGE: Imagine being a MAGAt running for Vice President on a Republican ticket headed by a 34-time convicted felon. Imagine being a VP candidate with a strict anti-LGBTQ doctrine. Imagine college photos of you in drag surface: a wig, eyeliner, and a dress. Imagine that. Who needs fiction when you have the Republican Party featuring MAGAt (like a guest artist on a song)? I’m going to fillet James David in a minute. In the meantime, I’ll continue to watch him drop the ball every time he picks that bitch up. Psst – Aye yo Donny – Aye yo Cheesy! You can’t stop the rain (Lamar voice) ...
 
FREE ABDUL MALIK KA’BAH