#MNR: IGNORANCE IS BLISS

#MNR: IGNORANCE IS BLISS
 
“When it comes to alter egos – I got at least fo’. But they reason why I’m always ready, listo. Aight, I’m sly lingual. Eyes on the prize, I’m fly. Make eyes twinkle.”
Earl Sweatshirt
 
“Going through the emotions of gun holding. Long shotgun down my pant leg, limping. Killa Black, you still living. Even my pops too. He taught me how to shoot when I was seven.”
Prodigy (Long live)
 
“Gold chain choking me. Coke head provoking me to live my destiny. Jacuzzi water soaking me.”
Cormega
 
“To the chicks that get high with me, smoke la with me. Come on girl, why don’t you come around my world?”
Nore
 
They said they need that old Monday back. Political Monday is nice, but we need that upstairs Monday back. We need that bat cave marauder Monday back. That pal who’s up at 7:00 on a Saturday morning to get his dawg out the pound because Bergen County bail bondsmen don’t answer the phone at 1:30 am on Friday nights (Facts). You kept it political for a minute, Ty, and that was cool. But it’s time to switch up your tempo like all those beautiful sneakers you possess and wear. You know how you be styling on ‘em, fat man. Fly Gordo, ¼ of the fabulous 4 Cornaz crew. Always putting your best foot forward and all that. We need the hood general back. We need you to take it back to the block. Do your thing as only you can, Tyrone Cronkite, hood reporter.
 
Bet.
 
Eastside get the money. Long time, no cash.
 
Good evening. I’d like to welcome you all to the den of iniquity, located far off the grid somewhere in the back alleys of the internet. It’s your guy, Slim Ty Monday. I’m glad and thankful that you fell through the spot tonight – or whenever you read this MF. You could’ve wasted five minutes on a YouTube video that was top tier ASS and been a bit pissed that you’ll never get those 300 seconds of your life back. But you made the righteous decision to tune in to 115.3 on your FM dial, WUNB radio. Buckle up. We finna take flight. Light your aromatics. Make it foggy in your domicile. Roll it all up. Get superhero high. It’s time for #MNR.
 
Aubrey Graham. Oh, you insecure half Negro, half Jew, fully Canadian, sockcucker. Shame on you for sneak AND overtly dissing the good brother Pharrell because he sided with – his MF friend of well over 30 years and longtime collaborator who used to be his artist. I’m talking about Pusha T for those who may be lost. Shame on you for being exposed yet again. Why did you try to make it seem like you bought all of Pharrell’s old jewelry (all $2.6M of it) because he was in squalor or needed the bread? I found out that Pharrell sold his jewelry and other items on his auction site Joopiter to help kickstart the Black Ambition nonprofit, with proceeds to support Black and Latino entrepreneurs. The nonprofit invests in and amplifies entrepreneurs and creates business opportunities for Black and Latina female founders in fashion and wellness. Shame on myself and others who were lazy and didn’t do our due diligence, instead taking Aubrey’s word for it. I can sincerely say that I didn’t think too much about it because I am a Pharrell Williams fan. I’ve been one since “Super Thug.” Moreover, even if he were in financial difficulties, I don’t take delight in others’ calamity, tough times, etc. That’s not my nature – unless I super, duper don’t fuck with you. I definitely felt that way when I found out that bitch Vanessa got served her walking papers, but that’s neither here nor there. But yeah. This hoe ass nigga tried to shit on Pharrell, only for [the rest of] us to find out that, much like plenty of other issues Aubrey’s had with other artists, this too was all fraudulent. Pharrell was finally asked about everything in a recent interview. Being that gentleman he has always been, he took the high road when questioned, basically dismissing Aubrey as the fanboy he is. What a meat glazer. Pharrell is doing business with Lego. He is the Men’s Creative Director of Louis Vuitton. He didn’t have the time to meddle with that Canadian commoner. He, unlike Aubrey, refused to fuck the money up over foolishness. Big ups to Pharrell. I’m a catch your Lego movie as soon as it hits Disney+, you heard?
 
How’s NOCTA doing, Aubrey? Last I heard, you couldn’t give those ugly ass, overpriced sneakers and mid ass apparel away. Of course I’m lying. But I just went on Reddit because I couldn’t find any raw data on Nike NOCTA sales to corroborate what I’m seeing. I didn’t find any raw data, but I damn sure had a good laugh or 3 going through the threads. They roasted THE FUCK out of NOCTA, from prices of the products to those ugly ass sneakers (the Hot Step 2) he dropped earlier in the year. People said they were “bulky,” “chunky,” and equivalent to the lady Fila shoes all the Hispanic women wore a couple of summers ago – their words, not mine. Someone called those Hot Steps the Under 18s (six laughing emojis). I can sum it all up as nasty work. Oh well. You should’ve left Kenny alone, pussyclot. You’re cursed like the pharaoh when he wronged Moses and the children of Israel.
 
Married to Marijuana, stabilized persona. I bone the bitch anytime I wanna...stroking her down, provoking her now to go down. Stroking her down. Stroking her down.
 
Shoutout to my bro’s BM for taking a real nigga off child support. You did right, woman. You did right. Salute to you.
 
Fuck all you derelict niggas out there not taking care of your bad ass chillun. Don’t matter if they’re bad as hell. Don’t matter if your BM ain’t shit. Don’t matter if they stay at your grandmama’s house half the time. Sir, those are your chillun. Take your punk ass down the way to see the man and pay that lil child support right before you take care of your beeper bill. With your sorry ass. Your shift at the Taco Bell is over at 3:00 pm. Office don’t close ‘til after fo’. Handle that before we un-invite you to the next function. Please and thank you.
 
Part the crowd like the Red Sea...
 
I wonder...if I can successfully steal a house (mansion, a Beverly Hills mansion) like Axel Foley did in Beverly Hills Cop, can I too successfully cheat on my property taxes each year? What y’all think? Let me know in the comments section, on the Twitter, or in the ShopRite when you see me.  
 
Everyone loves a small dosage of ignorance in their everyday lives, correct? Shit, I do.
 
After years of discussion between CEO and myself, I finally found a good company to customize an Unbearables Crew varsity coat. It’s Black on Black (of course), with genuine leather sleeves. You vinyl sleeve wearing niggas are non-cipher. It has our fly guy logo on the back. I have one patch (for now) on my left sleeve that reads “1% Better.” On my left titty is lettering that reads CREW UNB with @tymonday underneath. It’s fresh. It’s a beautiful thing when a plan comes together, even if it takes close to a decade.
 
Matt Gaetz? Attorney General? PLEASE INSERT 10 LAUGHING EMOJIS. Rapey (statutory) Matt? I’m waiting for Demetrius Flenory Sr. to be named as head of the FDA any day now. Fuck RFK.
 
I’m done with politics until the midterms, but I’ll close tonight out with this. Everything that’s getting ready to take place in this country – y’all asked for it. I don’t want to hear SHIT. I don’t give a fuck. Let the chips fall, let the spit fly. We’re finna enter a four-year long The Simpsons episode. I’ve got my large cherry/cola/blueberry mix Icee and Cookie Dough Bites candy, and I’m well rested. This is going to be one shitshow of a movie, and I’ve got front row seats. I’m finna be like Ms. Celie when Sophia got to swinging in the Jook Joint on The Color Purple.
 
Mobb niggas to the exit, we out.
 
LONG LIVE PRODIGY, AKA BANDANA P