MNR: Divine Wu Mathematics, Part II: Shaolin’s Sharpest Swords 
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MNR: Divine Wu Mathematics, Part One A couple of years prior, a scholarly debate sprung amongst a few Crew members, sparked by the release and success of the NWA biopic Straight Outta Compton. The question at hand was what, if any, would be the next great rap biopic? After throwing several possible names out, one name became the consensus choice: The Wu Tang Clan. Most agreed, one dissented. But the overall question was how can you make a two to three hour biopic that accurately captures the essence of a nine or ten man collective? The final verdict was that it’d be damn near impossible. I mean, we’re talmbout the greatest supergroup in MUSIC history. We’re talmbout the RZA, the GZA,, Ol’ Dirty Bastard (RIP big bro), Inspectah Deck, Raekwon the Chef, U-God, Ghostface Killah, Method Man, Masta Killah, and Cappadonna (gotta include him, it’s only right). End of the day, Crew UnB was correct in its corporate analysis. There were too many bruvas in the Clan to make a single movie about. Further thought suggested a possible VH1 type mini-series. But end of the day, we’re not talmbout some R&B collective (no shade to my nuccas New Edition). We don’t wanna see Bokeem Woodbine playing Deck and Terrance Howard playing Baby U. Yours truly playing Shallah Raekwon. So that theory quickly found the nearest waste basket. And that was that. We figured that if we did see something with regard to the Wu it wouldn’t be cinematic. Luckily, Mass Appeal and Showtime delivered just what we needed. They gave us a documentary, but not just any run of the mill doc. No. They gave us a four part documentary series with over four hours of material, titled Of Mics and Men. The four parts gave a chronological history of the Clan, beginning with their origins in Shaolin and Medina (that’s Staten Island and Brooklyn for you 85ers). It progressed through their upbringing and the peril they faced as school kids on a historically racially divided Staten Island. It delves into pre-Wu with the original three members, cousins RZA, GZA, and ODB, then known as the All In Together Crew as well as the failures of RZA and GZA under their pre Wu solo record deals as Prince Rakeem and the Genius. It chronicles RZA’s vision after solo failure and how it led to the formation of the Clan, culminating in their seminal debut Enter the Wu-Tang 36 Chambers. The rest is known history, even to casual fans. But the fruit (even to Wu aficionados like myself) was in the in-depth analysis of their inner business dealings with Power and Divine, and how RZA guided the individual paths of each member. It gave interesting perspective on what led to the tough times the Clan faced internally after achieving legendary group and individual status. It even (finally) spoke on the mysterious $2M project they “made” that was sold to only one person (that was some shit all the way around). But most importantly, the documentary series allowed us the privilege of hearing each member’s story in his own words and from his own perspective. And, while it was sad to see the “demise” of the group, it was ultimately uplifting to see every living member under a single roof and in harmony. That’s everything at the end of the day. Let no man or any dollar amount take asunder. But that’s real fucking easy to say until there’s literally millions at stake. And we’re talmbout project kids who rose to global stardom from absolutely nothing. Money naturally divides. That’s a motif we know all too well. I guess what’s really sad is how it can exist when there’s so much to go around. But that’s the nature of man. And family and squad in your ear coaxing you to question everything money related only adds diesel fuel to the fire. I’m just personally happy that time seems to have healed most, if not all internal issues. But time has a tendency to do that. Bottom line—-Of Mics and Men is a must see doc for all Wu heads, rap junkies, casual fans, and hip hop know-it-all’s alike. Twist an eighth of that good shit up, pour up big, and binge watch. It’ll make your day. I’m through y’all. Time to shake a leg and get up in the wind suga. Peace. tymonday.com theunbearablescrew.com  Once upon a time in America, just before the towers fell and years before social media, Black television was in midst a Renaissance. The pioneering Cosby projects, The Cosby Show and A Different World were still full fledged nostalgia in our hearts, enjoying the spoils of syndication. Martin, Living Single, and New York Undercover were still fresh on our minds, having left an indelible mark on our silky souls. We were still screaming “Bring back In Living Color!” as SNL was still not worthy of tuning into after what Keenan and Co. gave us. Speaking of Keenans, the younger Keenan and his pal Kel dominated Nickelodeon, making All That must see tv for ages 8-20. And then there was the next wave of great Black sitcoms. In Living Color alum Jamie Foxx was given his own show, showing us his full array of talent every week. His old cast mates the brothers Waynans, Shawn and Marlon had their own thing going, and they were damn good. Identical twins Tia and Tamara had it good with Sister Sister. And then there was my personal favorite of the bunch: my main manz Steve Harvey and Cedrick The Entertainer. After achieving global success as half of the celebrated Kings Of Comedy tour and subsequent movie, they were the stars of an excellent program titled The Steve Harvey Show. Steve was the fictitious ex-funk legend Steve Hightower who was compelled to return to his old HS alma mater Booker T. Washington to teach the arts after squandering his music money. His co-worker and best friend was the lovable and zany gym coach Cedrick Jackie Robinson. Add HS comedic foil turned fine AF head principal Regina “Piggy” Greer and her secretary, the ghetto fabulous Lovita Alizé Jenkins and students Romeo (RIP Merlin, we miss you), Bullethead, and Lydia Liza Guttman, and you had synchronous, lighthearted and laughable chaos inside Booker T. Washington HS for a half hour each week. The show lasted six great seasons and still thrives in syndication almost two decades later. After time ran its course, both Steve and Cedrick continued to thrive, going back to their bread and butter. They enjoyed numerous cable comedy specials and remained household names in American culture. Cedrick also began to feature up and coming talent, giving young comedians like Lil Duval their break in the industry. Eventually, Steve “reconnected” with the Lord, and began to tone his act down. He even began to host gospel award shows and all. Eventually, he sorta fell out of the eye of the hood, as it seemed that he’d fully (and respectfully) crossed over into more of a nonsecular mode. But then, but then...he re-emerged and entered completely new territory. He became the “it” guy in Hollywood. He’d toned down just enough to attract white America, who came knocking at his door with amazing and lucrative offers. He became the host of the classic game show Family Feud, using his down home appeal to translate into a lovable host, embraced by all cultures, a must for a show which regularly has contestants of diverse ethnicities and cultures. But he didn’t stop there. He got his own syndicated talk show, Steve. He didn’t stop there. He also became the host of the popular show Little Big Shots, a showcase for exceptional children. Suddenly, Steve Harvey became the face of television. For a good while he was the face of Black excellence. But eventually, things inevitably began to change—-and not in his favor. On the surface, it began when he invited his old home girl Mo’nique (Academy Award winner, amongst many things) on his show. It’s widely acknowledged that Mo’nique began to run into difficulties for keeping it real at all times. There were rumors that she lost her old and highly successful late night show on BET after telling her producers exactly where they could stick it during a creative argument one day. Then there’s the alleged Barbara Walters fiasco. Then she alleged that Netflix tried to low ball her and other female talent when they were willing to pay male talent top dollar. She and Steve amicably clashed (short version) when he insisted that maybe she could have kept it less real (short version) to secure the bag. Mo’nique respectfully disagreed. So did Black social media. It ripped Steve for speaking precise sellout language. Then everyone’s memory was refreshed of an old set he did when he encouraged selling out, to the point that he said he’d act like an actual monkey for the big payday(s). He even went as far as to mimic chimp noises during the set. It was funny (at the time). People were ROTFL during the special. But it didn’t age well, especially in wake of his Mo’nique interview. So Black social media did what all social media does in time; it turned its back on the iconic Steve Harvey. It really didn’t seem to faze Steve at first. But some months later (recently) he actually apologized for his dialogue with Mo’nique. He basically tried to erase his comments from Black memory. Sorry Steve, too late. Again, it really didn’t seem to faze Steve. But, as karma would have it, he’s lost two of three of his gigs within the past week or so. All that remains is Family Feud. Poetic justice? Well, it seems that way, as he lost both to white women. Famous white wen. Former Idol winner and multi platinum recording artist Kelly Clarkson will replace him with her own talk show, as NBC looked to go in another direction. And reportedly Melissa McCarthy will be his replacement on Little Big Shots. As for the talk show...there are rumors that it came in lieu of animosity between NBC Universal and IMG Original Content over IMG’s takeover of the show a couple of seasons ago. There were noticeable changes, the first being a change of show title. The show became Steve after being titled The Steve Harvey Show (how original) the first three seasons. Steve also gained heavy carte blanche and leverage, leaning to more guest appearances and comedic segments. Reportedly NBC was furious and this was their way of saying fuck you to IMG and Steve. Damn it, man. I dunno if it’s worse or better, but Little Big Shots was simply looking to go in a different direction. Damn Steve, everything was all good just a week ago. Unfortunately, Steve gets zero empathy from Black folk because we basically feel like that’s what the fuck he gets for selling out to the pilgrims for a dollar. Yeah, you got paid. You got paid big. But it never fails. As soon as they build you up they cut you down. But WE already knew this. We know how shit goes. Ask OJ. MJ. Tiger. You can trade your soul (dignity) for a buck and pilgrim approval, but when they see fit, best believe your Black ass is grass and they’re John Deere. We saw the hook coming. I guess you didn’t. Good luck on your future endeavors, sir. I’m guessing Family Feud is safe...for now. JP and G still play it in the barbershop e’yday. But you lost most of the rest of us. But hey, maybe my big cousin Mo’nique will give you a job. Good luck buddy. tymonday.com theunbearablescrew.com ReplyForward  |
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