#MNR: $788M (WE NEED THIS MONEY, GOD)
“We need this money, God, we penetrate through the out states. Time’s short, fuck that Mic, let’s motivate.”
Mic Geronimo/Royal Flush/O.C.
The Mega Millions lottery is damn near 800 milli. My guy Pennington told me that the take after taxes is like $440M. NIGGA...I don’t know how my pastor would react to a cashier’s check for $44M, but that’s the first move. I’m serious about my tithes. Actually, I’d probably split $33M of that amongst the three churches of my lifetime: First Baptist in Bridgehampton, New Arbor in South Boston and Truth & Deliverance in Englewood. The remaining $11M would go to diverse charities and a plot of land somewhere in Englewood to build a recreation center/safe spot for my babies. They deserve one and it’s long overdue.
I know the odds are like one in a gazillion, but a brother can dream, can’t he?
And please know...if and when I win that thang, I’m showing up to the lottery office in Trenton in a Nike shiesty (that’s a ski mask to the unlearned) and a pair of Ray-Bans. IN-COG-NE-GRO. Please put Tyrone X on the big ass check, Mr. Lottery Man. Coloreds, do me one small favor: DO NOT call my line. Please and thank you. I ain’t got it.
It’s been so damn hot outside the past week or so...I could be lying, but yesterday, I saw a Greyhound full of atheists break down in front of a church. After 20 minutes of no air conditioning in 97 degrees heat with 100% humidity...out of 50 atheists, 12 of those non-believing MF went into a Black church with central air and gave their lives to the Lord that same day. Nigga, it’s that hot.
And yes...it was so damn hot that the greyhound on the side of the bus took his ass inside the bus and sat in the front seat that the driver doesn’t allow anyone to sit in. The dog said it was THAT hot outside. As soon as the bus broke down the dog broke out to Mackay Park and hopped the pool fence in a single bound. He sho’ nuff got a private session in. When he finished, he took his ass to the nearby ASPCA for the evening. Last I heard he was going in-person this morning to file an unemployment claim in the Sack.
IT'S THAT HOT.
I hope unemployment doesn’t shit on that doggie. They damn sure shit on me whenever I try to claim a week. Fuck ‘em.
It only took two and a half years, but damn it, I am now an owner of a new PlayStation 5. And yes nigga, it’s the disc version. How else would I watch my old DVDs?
SO BEGINS MY PS5 RANT...
It’s a damn shame that the 5 has been out since November 2019 yet a great percentage of those who wish to purchase one for retail are still unable to because of extremely limited supplies. We know that many of the complications were birthed by the pandemic and all the bullshit that came with it. Cool. We understand. But I still feel like it’s bullshit that you have to damn near win the lottery for the chance to cop a 5 for retail even though the product is almost three years old. $650-$800 for a new 5 via resell? Non-cipher. No can do. I’m not paying two to three hun extra to get a new 5.
So...how did I get a new PS5 for retail? By being thorough, of course. I just happened to be on the PlayStation site, checking to see if they somehow had some in stock. Of course, they didn’t. But what they did have was [basically] a raffle for the opportunity to purchase one for retail. I figured I didn’t have a thing to lose. I filled out the required information. Last Tuesday, they sent me an email to notify me that I’d won the chance to cop one the next day. There was a six-hour window, so I already knew that there would be plenty in stock. You don’t have a six-hour window if there’s only 20 units in stock. Moreover, there was no chance to bot because PS would only allow one purchase per household. Plus, if you’d already copped one through the PS site you were ineligible. I sat in a waiting room for less than 20 minutes. They had already sold out of the disc units, so I had to cop a bundle. By the way, Horizon Forbidden West isn’t that bad. I’M THANKFUL.
It's a good thing to see that gas prices are going down (for the moment). It’s as absurd as it is surreal that I’m mentioning falling gas prices when the average cost per gallon in New Jersey is still in the four-teens and twenties. But it beats $4.99 & 9/10 every time. It’s left me quite pensive because even though we’re seeing relief at the pump, everything else is showing that a recession is imminent. Even though this sucks ass, it kind of plays into my three-year plan anyway. We’ll be up out this recession within two to three years, the precise time in which we will be “ready” to purchase a home. Shouts to my sis Jon-Jon on her recent purchase. I’m trying to be what 74% of Black folk never are: a homeowner.
Check out my folk Kim Pfeifer and her company Graceful Roots. She teaches yoga, dance and wellness. She’s fly and she knows her shit. They’re located in Fair Lawn, but you can check the technique with a simple Google search. Health is wealth. That includes mental, spiritual and emotional health in addition to the physical. Tell her Monday sent you.
Keep grinding. I don’t care who you are, how much money you make, nada. Keep grinding. Put a penny or two to the side for a rainy day. Give the Lord his lil piece of change. He doesn’t ask for much. If you don’t trust the pastor or the church, give to valid charities. You can never lose with St. Jude’s. Help save sick babies. Support the ASPCA. I was taught that we give to receive to give again. I’ve been blessed beyond measure since I bought in.
It's time to shake a leg and get up in the wind, sugar. I’m a catch you on the come up. I’ll see you when I see you. Unless you see me first.
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