#MNR: Algorithms

​#MNR: Algorithms
 
“I’m having nightmares (ooh-woo-ooh-woo). My niggas say I’m p-noid.”
Pharrell Williams
 
I don’t think “shut the fuck up” is said enough in everyday life. Either a MF is talking too got damn much, saying dumb shit or doing both at the same damn time. I’m growing ornerier by the day, and I have little to no tolerance for the dumb shit. Now, it’s all good if I have my air pods in. They allow for my escape from the fuckery that spews from the lips of bloody idiots. But damn it, sometimes I can’t avoid the noise pollution. Being that I can’t always just tell a MF to STFU when I want to, I’m forced to go with my number two move: just staring at a jabber jaw with a look that would cut glass. And even though I can’t always tell a MF to STFU, they usually know. The stare and the vibe tell the story. But if I CAN tell you, trust, I’m going to tell you quick, fast and in a hurry: shut your dumb ass the fuck up. Respectfully.
 
I JUST HAD TO GET THAT SHIT OFF MY CHEST. LET US CONTINUE ON.
 
I was blessed with an invitation to attend the Sweet 16 of one of my Bergen Family Center day ones, a beautiful person named Tahneshia; she was one of my little ones back when I had early elementary students in the afterschool and summer camp program. I’m not gonna lie, I was initially a bit blasé about the party. I figured there wouldn’t be much excitement at a kid bday party. I seldom party in my old age. When I did party, I PARTIED. But boy was I wrong. Tahneshia’s Sweet 16 was official tissue. The location was lovely. The dance floor was lively. The food was delicious. There was a candy bar. There was also a BAR bar. Oh yes, I got nice. But perhaps the best part of it all was the fact that the Sweet 16 was also a sneaker ball, so damn near everyone in attendance under 50 had a fresh pair of kix on. I had a ball (pun intended). Big ups to the CEO and first lady. We held our table down by ourselves.
 
Our favorite orator of the fine art of distributing a certain white substance, Pusha T, is back with another studio release, titled “It’s Almost Dry.” As usual, King Push came through magnificently, with help from pals Pharrell Williams and Kanye West on production. The album, twelve songs in duration, is quintessential Push, rarely if ever deviating from the topic of yayo. My favorite track is “Hear Me Clearly,” for which a video was released a few weeks ago. Other standout tracks include “Rock N Roll” featuring Yeezy and Kid Cudi, “Neck & Wrist” featuring Shawn Carter, “Diet Coke,” and “I Pray For You,” with a vintage verse from his brother and Clipse member Malice. If you love Pusha T music, you’ll love “It’s Almost Dry.” If you love hip hop, you’ll love “It’s Almost Dry.” I can’t lie, though. Hearing Malice on the same track as Push made me miss the vibe from The Clipse albums and Re-Up Gang project. Somebody find my nigga Ab-Liva. I need a few 16s from him and Gene. Fam-Lay too. Hit his beeper. IYKYK.
 
Yes, Kyrie Irving is my favorite NBA player from a pure talent standpoint. Yes, I’m a big fan of Kevin “The Slim Reaper” Durant. Yes, I detest the Brooklyn Nets. And yes, the Nets got SWEPT. There’s only room for one team in NYC, and that team plays in the world’s most famous arena. Anti-vaxxers and “solo artists” around the sports world will continue to back Kyrie’s decision to not get the jab, but the truth is that his choice not to get vaccinated directly hurt his team. Everyone else maintained eligibility by receiving vaccinations. They did it because they put team over self (ask Wiggins in San Fran). It didn’t matter if they were pro or anti vax. It created a rift between the team and James Harden, who had a serious problem with Kyrie choosing self over team. Kyrie’s absence made cohesiveness damn near impossible. First, he was outright deemed ineligible to play by the organization. They then acquiesced and allowed him to play away games, as NYC COVID policies continued to forbid Kyrie from playing home games. Finally, Mayor Adams relented, and Kyrie was allowed to play home and away games. But the damage was already irreparable. Brooklyn never gelled into a cohesive unit. The Nets were outmatched and outclassed by the Celtics. The result was a four-game sweep. See ya, Brooklyn. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. What about KD? Sure, KD wasn’t his normal self. But his ass showed up from day one. Nets fans and most of the sports world may disagree, but he gets a pass from me. If you disagree, persuade management to ship him across the East River. We’ll give you Randle and Kemba. We’ll even throw in tickets to the circus when it comes to town.
 
Elon Musk, the richest MF in the world, purchased Twitter for about 44B. The acquisition came after he initially purchased nine percent of Twitter stock (amounting to 3B), making him the company’s largest shareholder at the time. Although his end game was initially uncertain to pundits, I had an inkling that it was only a matter of time before he made the big move. Musk claims that he wants free speech to reign supreme and that democracy has been undermined on the platform. Perhaps he’s referring to Twitter’s ban of incendiary, bigoted and divisive accounts like 45’s or MTG’s. Critics fear that the purchase will lead to the return of the aforementioned racists and plenty others who fled (or were forced to flee) to platforms like Parlor to freely spew their ignorance. Some bleeding hearts have claimed they will leave Twitter now that Musk is at the helm. I think they’re full of cap. Sure, I don’t like hatred on my TL, but I’m not naïve. I don’t think banning racists from Twitter makes the world a better place. Let them spew their ignorance for all to see. It leaves a timestamp and noose loose enough for them to slip their own necks into. Toughen up lib shits, this is the world we live in. It’s time for you pussy ass MF to fight fire with fire. Bring on the bullshit, Elon. I think I’ll ramp my 2012-2015 Twitter game back up and talk my shit how I used to talk my shit. Game on.
 
That’s all for this week, I suppose. I’m sure the world and society will disappoint me enough to have compelling material for you children of God to ponder and ruminate by next Monday-ish. Just know that I went from iPhone 11 to 13. You figure out the reason why. If you can’t, look at an old computer keyboard.  Stay dangerous and do remember: the man who sleeps on the floor can never fall out of the bed.
 
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