#MNR: EASTSIDE

#MNR: EASTSIDE
 
“I pumped a 100 pack instead of running for ice cream.”
G-Dep (free my nigga, it’s time)
 
“I be the P.D. world tourer, Harlem horror. Catch me in the Lex 470 or the Explorer.”
Black Rob (long live Jeff’s greatest)
 
“Empty rumors, ignorant listeners. Petty motherfuckers stuck in hate mode. It’s like I’m Flair with the glittered robe. They want to be me or near me.”
Ty Thompson 115
 
I’m a second half Jefferson Houses, #210, 15th & 3rd  Avenue veteran. I’m a Crown’s Fried, La Nueva Caridad, Cuchifritos, Milano’s and Sam’s Famous pizzerias aficionado. Can’t forget Rao’s. I’m a 12th & 2nd with the faded detergent boxes in the window beside the Ak deli, 19th between 3rd & 2nd haze building by Taino, 17th between 3rd & 2nd Steve (RIP), Cutty & Malik cheeba spot endorser. Big ups to my girl Neff (Mendeecees’ sister) and the homie EW. They had shit jumping too. So did the Ari spot on 19th my nigga P.R. put me on to. I’m an Uptown Jiggy/Pegasus & Pelle Pelle spots on 109 & 3rd, VIM on 2-2 & 3rd, and the old mom and pop Pepe spot on 3rd by McDonalds ‘fit copper. I like my steak & cheese and chopped cheese from the same Ak deli on the corner of 12th & 2nd by the old limousine bag reefa spot. I like my baconeggandcheese from the bodega on the corner of 15th & Lex. I was in the Body Shop at 16 in ’95 – G-strings, no pasties on the dancers. Long live P.R. Long live Black Rob. Long live Papote. Long live Desmond. Long live Rosa’s BF Andre. Long live Charles “Chub” Chisolm. Long live Saroya Johnson. Long live Betty Bradley.
 
Some of those spots and people have been gone for two decades and better. But they will always live on in my spirit. It’s a Spanish Harlem thing.
 
Free Albert Bradley. Free G-Dep.
#EASTSIDE
 
RANDOM: Please forgive me for all the times I didn’t put my ice sweaty Solo cup on a coaster and left a perpetual ring on your table. I ask that the same grace be extended for all the times I missed the ashtray on the aforementioned table and it and the carpet paid the price. My bad (PB Williams voice).
 
All jokes aside, I spent my daily five minutes on Twitter scrolling as per usual. I don’t remember which day it was. I was high. I saw a tweet showing a Black family sitting on a WalMart floor eating ice cream and chips. I counted four or five chillun, a mother, and a father. The father did the talking, all while eating chips from a bag AND off the floor. In his defense, the dip he had clearly cleansed the chips on the floor of any type of germ or bacteria. And if it weren’t troubling enough that these cotton-picking mongrels (the parents, not the babies) were sitting with their babies on the floor of a supercenter stealing on camera with absolutely no shame, the father explained that this was his go-to when his babies were crying and there was no food to eat. This [CENSORED, with the hard -er] didn’t go to the produce aisle or even steal some deli meat, cheese, and bread for sammiches...you know...something resembling sustenance. Instead, he took his babies AND wife to the junk food aisle to feast. Of course, the whites killed us-skinned folk in the mentions. I don’t even have a rebuttal. Fuck you bigoted, punk bitches is all I have. Why? Because the racists are just doing what the racists do. I expect it from them. But this buck row ass nigga. This bloody idiot. This shine was as ignorant as could be in his indignant diatribe. I guess the coon figured that working to support his family wasn’t a viable option. I do agree with the whites in one regard: this family almost certainly (definitely) receives TANF, SNAP, WIC, Medicaid and everything the government has to offer. There clearly has been a gross mismanagement of allocated funding. But this monkey had to take the fuckery a step further and decided to be an attention-seeking, thirsty ass troglodyte. The nigga felt compelled to shoot the criminal AND pathetic act in 4K. That was historic horse shit. I want to push that nigga out of a moving trolley. I don’t want to kill him. I just want to...if it weren’t for those kids...they need that simple ass MF.
 
Serenity now...
 
Want you to make me feel, like I’m the only girl in the world. Like I’m the only one that you’ll ever love. Like I’m the only one who knows your heart. Only girl in the world.
@rihanna
 
This portion of #MNR is dedicated to the goddess Rihanna. I love you Rih-Rih. Your absence from music has shown me one thing: no one currently outside can fuck with you. Yeah. I said it. I love you Queen Bey. But pound for pound, you’re not fucking with Rih-Rih. I have no reservations admitting that Rih-Rih’s songs resonate with my core better than Bey’s. And my baby is the queen of anthems. She can make an anthem in her sleep on an off day. My favorite Rihanna song is “You da One.” I heard it for the first time at an Englewood Raiders cheerleaders’ presentation a decade or so ago. The entire gymnasium went crazy, females (pardon the term but it’s most befitting) from the ages of 8 – 50+. It hit different. All I could do was literally sit back and absorb/enjoy all the exuberance before me. There have only been a few times in my life that I’ve been in a setting amongst scores/hundreds/thousands of people and the entire house exploded when a song came on. This was one of those times. My brain was immediately blown to bits. It was an entire moment in Black history. Baby girl had a decade run comparable to John Wooden with Alcindor & Company and later Walton & Company on the back end. “Sex With Me.” “Work.” “Pour It Up.” “Cockiness (Love It).” The aforementioned “Only Girl (In The World).” There are so many more. I love you @rihanna.
 
It's not that I don’t love Beyonce. It’s just that I love Rihanna more.
 
The city’s been kind of crazy the past week or so. A jealous boyfriend pushed his lady into the tracks in front of an oncoming train. She lost the better parts of her lower legs. Her feet, of course, are no more. This punk ass MF just finished doing a bid for stabbing his ex-girlfriend AND her seed TF up. Marinate on that for a taste. Some bozo got clapped with his own strap on the A train, after he pulled the strap out to fire at the nigga he had drama with. The pigs didn’t even charge old boy who clapped Bozo the Monkey (and they shouldn’t have). We actually witnessed a rare case of New York City self-defense. It’s probably the toughest city in America to successfully beat a case of self-defense. Ask Kay Flock. Ok. Bad example. But only because this is a blue state. Flock wouldn’t have been charged in a deep red state. But back to Bozo the Fuckboy. The footage is 101 bananas. I never want to hear innocent humans scream in the tones I heard. I heard pure and utter fear coming from those straphangers who were desperately pleading with the train conductor to open the doors. Another ass wipe and his folk stabbed a set of twins – one fatally – because they wouldn’t follow them on TikTok. Let me repeat that for those of y’all (like CEO) coasting through this blog and may have missed it. One girl is dead, and her twin is in the hospital because they were butchered for not following two lame MF on the socials. What in the entire fuck? There are more tales of true fuckery to report, but I think those three are enough for today. Welcome to New York, the illest of all places. I walk the streets with absolute impunity and nary a shred of fear. I’m not waiting to see where you’re trying to take it. I’m fucking you all the way up before you get the drop on me. Thee end.
 
It's spring again y’all. Let’s all celebrate and sniff an eighth. I’m just kidding. I don’t want the lethal dosage of fentanyl the punk ass nigga who laced my yay with to silence my heart like a nigga in Twitter spaces when his mic is muted. Let’s celebrate and smoke an eighth. There. That’s better (I guess). Sighs. My dad, uncles, and big cousins had all the fun.
 
I’m just playing, y’all. Don’t set up any damn interventions or sum’n. Lmao. I’m just having a good time amongst myself. I was actually in a good mood when I wrote this blog. I love that for me. Until next time, y’all. Go out and dominate all four quarters. Survive and advance to the weekend.
 
Y’all know where the fuck to @ us.