#MNR: I GOT NOTHING

#MNR: I GOT NOTHING
 
“Bitch got the nerve [to] say she don’t like rubbers. She don’t know that I know she be fucking my brother, bitch. I ain’t going out like no sucker.”
Lil Baby
 
“Going through the emotions of gun holding. Long shotgun down my pants leg, limping. Killer B you still living, even my pops too. He taught me how to shoot when I was seven.”
Prodigy – RIP Bandana P. Love you, my boy. Always.
 
“Try me. You can hit me, I’m gon keep coming. Grimy. All a nigga could do is stash doe.”
Max Bigavel
 
“And you liable to see me dolo, ice in the Rolo. Burner under the Polo. A lot of y’all is homos. Funny-style niggas, never down with me. Type to go to the bathroom, sit down and pee.”
Jadakiss
 
In the words of my former coworker and dear friend T. Murphy, “I got nothing.” I was politicking with my ace yesterday and I mentioned I had nothing for this week’s #MNR. Well damn. Yup. I know. I always got something. I guess my always isn’t perennial because I’m fresh outta ideas this time around. No worries. I can always put something together. “It’s just a little something that I had wrote. Put it together.” I took that line from Mic Geronimo, the coolest nigga from the Wasteland of Queens. I loved it because he then proceeded to blow my MF mind. His song “Sharane” off his debut album The Natural is one of the most original songs I’ve ever heard. It’s got the greatest plot twist in rap history outside of “I Gave You Power” by Nasir bin Olu Dara Jones. But yeah. That man Mic Geronimo is a genius. It was good seeing him on Math Hoffa’s My Expert Opinion podcast a little while back. He’s not gone and he’s damn sure not forgotten. That line was smoother than a new Gem Star through tender flesh. Yup, the origin of the buck-fifty. I’m all over the place, right? Good. That means it’s up. 21 Bunkhouse. No rules, no ref. I’m going GWB lower-level tonight. Ignorance and negativity are on deck. Word to my ace.
 
Meth & Red “Da Rockwilder” is tonight’s theme song. I’ll smack the shit out an industry nigga.
 
Respect to my nigga Lil Uzi Vert (yeah, I fuck with some of his work – all my friends are dead), but the Philadelphia anthem remains “Dreams and Nightmares.” Y’all gotta relax. Big ups to my nigga Meek Mill. I’m still a supporter.
 
My nigga Tyrese Haliburton, my third cousin Obadiah Toppin and the rest of the Indiana Pacers had me gassed up during the in-season tournament, gassed to the point I bet my cousin Davonne a dub on the final. Fuck was I thinking? Bron and AD looked good out there. I don’t watch much basketball that isn’t aired on MSG Network before Christmas Day. From then on, I’ll watch a bit more, especially down the stretch post all-star game. But the Lakers look scary. The length (pause if necessary) of their roster is menacing to opposing teams and AD is looking like he wants serious DPOY consideration. We all know their issue: health. If somehow they remain healthy for the duration of the season (without the help of a three-month COVID pause – yeah I said it), it could get dark for the rest of the Association. I’m a tell you the same thing Ray Charles Robinson told Stevland Morris (Stevie Wonder) before he passed...we shall see. Respect to the Los Angeles Lakers, winners of the inaugural in-season tournament. But fuck Bron, AD dem. It’s #KNICKSNATION in this bitch. Bing, bong!
 
I’m looking at the front door.
 
A lot of y’all breath is three steps past horrible. I don’t know what it is that you aren’t doing but figure the shit out. Brush your damn teeth at least twice a day. Use Listerine – the piss-colored Listerine. Keep a pack of Orbit on deck. Please. I smelled a MF breath the other day that sacked my ass like the MF Steel Curtain on a jailhouse blitz. I damn sure would’ve caught a standing eight count if I was boxing. I was on the way to the flo’ (floor). Luckily, I tend to stand in a boxer’s stance for some reason when I’m speaking in proximity to someone. It’s not for physical aggression; it’s to make sure I keep my balance if their breath is trying to catch me slipping with a flash KO. I damn near banged my chin on the desk amidst a sudden bailout. I stepped back with the Garfield eyeballs and took a deep breath. Through the blessings of the Lord, I safely escaped without injury, other than the majority of my nose hair melting and fusing into my inner nose.  
 
I love Black women. I don’t see how you Negroes go out into the community and seek a Caucasian woman. I’m not saying some aren’t attractive. I am saying that brown sugar is the only sweetener I need. I get it. I know what it is. Y’all are afraid of a Black woman’s mouth. Y’all don’t want to hear the real. Y’all want to dominate. Go on ‘head and taste of the forbidden fruit. See if her daddy will allow you in his crib to drink a beer and watch a sporting event. I’m a be smoking a J with my ole girl’s pops, talking shit about the game on television.
 
I pulled a muscle in my back while moving some things on Saturday. I felt it throughout the day yesterday and whenever I moved in the bed throughout the night. I thought it was going to get late early. It wasn’t quite General Hospital theme music, but it could have meant taking a sick day. But, thanks to my Logan/Wolverine-like rapid regeneration, I feel much better. And this is after walking my walk from the Deuce to 29th Street before work, a full day of work and walking back to Port Authority after. I’m a keep it taller than Bol Bol standing on his father’s shoulders. I thought it was the Tylenol Extra Strength I took this morning, but that had to have worn off hours ago. No, I’m certain. It’s my rapid regeneration. I wonder if I can extract Adamantium claws like my boy Wolverine. If so, that’s y’all motherfucking asses. I’m definitely finna set it on Cyclops. Hating ass nigga. Jean Grey wants to fuck with a real one like myself. Not a simp like him. [FADE OUT TO X-MEN 90s CARTOON THEME SONG].
 
I’m high as a Black star of Ghana flag at full mast.
 
Y’all ever went to the bar, got drunk as a church trustee on Saturday night and pissed on yourself at some point on the way home, even after you pissed twice, including right before you left the bar? Yeah, me either.
 
I remember one time when I was a teenager riding the 6 train and a homeless woman squatted her nasty ass and pissed in between moving subway cars. My dumb ass was baffled that her piss stream didn’t reach the third rail and electrocute her cooch. I think she survived the incident. Nasty ass (J. Anthony Brown voice).
 
Now it’s time to say goodbye to all my Negro friends. N-E-G – gee, we’re out of time. Lolololol. This was fun. I had no blueprint, just a J of some good ass kush. I just unlocked the Mac, opened Word and let my fingers go. It’s been real. Go out into the community and sin again.
 
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