#MNR: IF I...
“Call Mr. Martin. Tell him to build a coffin. Today is that season...a hundred MCs a get murdering...stop it! Call Mr. Martin. Tell him to build a coffin. Today is that season...a hundred MCs a get murdering...ha ha ha.”
This warm intro shall consist of wishing former president James Earl Carter Jr. a blessed 99th birthday. He was our 39th president. He was a former lieutenant in the Navy. He was the governor of his native state of Georgia. He was a Georgia state senator. He is a man of faith. He and his wife, the late Rosalynn Smith Carter, helped build HUD homes for the less fortunate. They helped to build homes well into their 80s. Jimmy Carter is a good man. I pray President Carter had a comfortable earth day at hospice. Why is Jimmy Carter so important to me? It’s because he was the president on 9.10.1978. I’m a Carter baby.
RANDOM THOUGHT OF THE DAY: Earth, Wind & Fire didn’t sing a single word in the dictionary on “Brazilian Rhyme.” That is all. (Insert 3 fire emojis)
I could be lying, but I swear I saw a battleship floating down 8th Avenue Friday afternoon when I took my lunch break. My phone received three separate emergency tones, a new personal Apple record. All jokes aside, Friday was nasty work for NYC. I’m talmbout nasty to the point it made that bitch Ida jealous. Flooding, the result of upwards of 8 inches of rain in many areas, shut down so many highways and train lines that Hajji was charging $500 for local magic carpet taxi rides. Price gouging ass nucca. I’d say we all ought to bank that man, but I’m afraid of the team of trained killer cobras he has on payroll. Nappy Red, lil Keith (Keef) dem said those cobras are extra deadly. Mean as hell, too. I’m thankful that my commute home wasn’t impeded in any way. In fact, I caught the “in-between bus” and got home like 15 minutes early. I immechiately proceeded to the package sto’ and purchased a bottle of wine, but that’s neither here nor there. Unfortunately, a lot of commuters weren’t as “lucky” as I was. My ace Ju needed damn near four hours to get home to Money Earnin’, consisting of an MTA ride AND a $200 Uber ride. For some reason, I heard Florida Evans’ “damn, damn, damn!” in my mind when I typed that two hundo. Yikes. Another coworker, Laura, said it took her 3.5 hours to get home. I’m not sure where in the city she resides, but I’m guessing she lived by one of the train lines that had the Hudson River flowing through it. I’m glad there were no reported fatalities. Hearing about all the flooding was one thing, but to see it was a whole other thing. I watched a YouTube video that apparently stole its content from a Spanish broadcast, as I could hear mamí’s voiceover faintly playing during portions of the footage. It got extra spooky in certain parts of the boroughs. I can’t imagine having to walk waist-deep in that rancid, nasty ass water. I would have cried like Arsenio Hall in Harlem Nights if my car’s engine block was flooded by raging flood waters. Much love to you if you had to brave the elements last Friday. You’re a certified trooper.
I’m hearing word from the journalist nerds that the sneaker market has apparently tanked. I love it. These resell bastards have been fucking the game up for far too long. Either they use their bots to scoop up all the general releases and/or they charge shitty resell prices. Bots make it damn near impossible to score a W on the Sneakers app. I’d say my success rate is somewhere between 15 – 25%, but probably much closer to the fifteen. It’s nasty work. The consumer rarely [if ever] wins. So yes. I’m a hater. Fuck you bot using, price gouging, resell fucktards. Go kiss a barracuda with your tongue out. I know one MF thing: when I take the L on the 11s on 12.9 (I’ve lost all confidence in the app and expect to take Ls on every release I want), you punk ass resell bitches better throw me a pair for under $300. Ok, $325. Pretty please...
I apologize, resell bitches. I was having too much fun. I cannot promise that it will not happen again. I have an asshole disposition and a potty mouth.
I just took a bong rip and the smoke tasted like an order of jerked pork from the Jamaican spot. That sure is some good tasting reefa.
Over the weekend, congress avoided a government shutdown in damn near the literal 11th hour by passing stopgap legislation to fund the federal government through mid-November. A shutdown would have been the first since 2018 (I’ll let you guess which party controlled the House), which lasted 30 days and cost the nation billions of dollars (allegedly). When the government shuts down, more than A MILLION government employees are furloughed. 200K would be required (forced) to work without pay. Public assistance programs like SNAP benefits would be halted after a few days of a shutdown, affecting millions of families with children. Federal parks and museums would be shut down. It would be disgusting. Ask an employee or family that suffered in ’18. They’ll tell you. A month is a long damn time to go without [anything]. The rapidly sinking R party loves to use government shutdown as a bargaining chip for budgetary negotiations. Although most of the MAGAt wing would contend that Speaker McCarthy again made serious concessions to the Dems, this game of neo-conservative hardball did succeed in leaving $6B of Ukraine funding OFF the table. Y’all know I’m with the far right on that one. I could care less about their cause. I could care less about any “threat” Putin and Russia poses to the western world. I don’t believe in policing other people’s property (the other OPP). All those billions could go towards truly addressing our national mental health dilemma. Shit, being that you’re giving money away, how about a federal rebate check? How about two? I don’t believe in fighting proxy wars in the interest of “freedom” when shit is fucked up on my own soil. Disagree if you may. I don’t give a fuck. That is all.
For those of you who may be reading this blog for the first time and are in disbelief over my flagrant disregard for Ukraine, I never forgot how Ukraine treated my young African scholars as they tried to flee Kyiv when the war began, and non-residents were advised to flee. They coldly turned my brilliant young brothers and sisters away with no problem...as they feared for their lives in a foreign country. They let the pets of those fleeing board the trains as they turned my people away. That shit hurt my soul. I also remember that scores of Africans were sent to refugee camps of bordering nations and treated like political prisoners. I don’t fuck with Ukraine. I don’t care how many Ukraine flag emojis you have beside your Twitter handle and pronouns. I don’t fuck with anyone/anything who doesn’t fuck with my-skinned folk.
Well folks, that’s all for this Monday evening. Please be sure to tune into the next episode of #MNR. Same #MNR time, same #MNR channel. Goodnight.
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