“Grandma pleading, ‘please put the triple beam up.’ Tek with the red beam hanging out the Beamer.”
“Rey Mysterio, Smoking a J on the top rope.”
They said they want that old Monday back. That steal out the medicine cabinet at your white friend’s house Monday. That piss in your shower while I’m taking a shower, hop my fat ass out dripping wet with no towel, dig in my nose and dry my balls with the hand towel on that ring/hook by the sink Monday. Fuck all the politics and middle-aged wisdom shit, Monday. Drop that @iamdjgreen/ early @crewunB Rickey Retardo shit, Monday! We need that shit, to boost our adrenaline. I got y’all. Now, now, I hope y’all got y’all shit pre-rolled. It’s time to take flight. We finna smoke a haystack on the outermost ring of Saturn, legs swinging, staring at the Milky Way. But please be careful. The TSA at Saturn Interglobal is a bitch. I heard they were trained by the MF at Atlanta Hartsfield.
What the fuck is going on in this summabitch? Me? I can’t call it. I’ve got a lot on my plate, but not enough to act special or beg sympathy. I’m a be ok. Irrespective of the outcome, I leave it all at God’s feet. That’s the best and only plan. In the words of some unknown genius, it is what it is. So...where do we begin this week’s excellent adventure? I’ll tell you where it won’t begin – with the flower man. I’ve left the counterculture once again. I have no idea for how long. I don’t think it’ll be long term. Now, before you begin to heap praise in my direction and tell me how much of a good look it is for health purposes, please take a page from Unc Shan (MC Shan, not Unc Shay Sharpe) and kill that noise. I’m not doing it for any health-related reason. I’m doing it because of the low-end theory, no Tribe. I can’t afford to smoke good. I’ve got hella bills and limited income. I can’t afford to partake, at least not without it killing me financially. I’m going to take a break until I get a handle on these bills. At the moment it’s looking like an extended break until the summer. The summer should be extra lit because I’ve secured an awesome position that I’m praying will eventually parlay into a long-term venture. There’s more to come on that end. But until then, I won’t be purchasing any tree. Now, if you want to come through and light the stickiest of the ickiest, I’m down like Ice Cube and Public Enemy. If you want to Cash App/Zelle/Venmo a bruva a love offering or drop a pack of that satin off, go on ‘head and send that thang to your boy. You are appreciated. Lmao.
Big ups to President Sleepy Joe for shooting that Foo Yum spy balloon down after it was SAFELY out over the Atlantic Ocean, where its debris and contents were swiftly retrieved. America said it was a spy balloon. China said it was a weather balloon and took its forced grand closing as an act of...something. Sniping it down immediately (like the conservative news world and ignorant MF wanted) could’ve resulted in trouble (Bernie Mac voice) for us American earthlings. The balloon was the size of three cheese buses. Its subsequent debris could have landed anywhere. Imagine a 30x20-foot piece landing on an interstate during AM or PM rush hour. There could’ve been a 1,000,000-vehicle pile-up. Mass casualties. What if it fell on the countryside and killed all kinds of wildlife? What if it fell on a power grid and caught fire? What if a part of the “weather apparatus” fell over an elementary school and fatally clipped a few children? My number one problem with social media is that every damn body thinks that they’re the experts on every damn topic, even though there’s a X% chance they haven’t received a single hour of training/education on the topic. Bitch, you can’t even pay your phone bill on time yet you’re an expert on national defense? Y’all need to relax, or at least shut the fuck up. Much appreciated.
RIP to the brother Boom P from the YouTube series Respect Life. I don’t know how he passed, but I know he suffered immensely after smoking a laced blunt some time ago. I found out he was a good friend of my favorite battle rap blogger Angryfan 007, aka CAPS. He explained their friendship and everything Boom P had going on. Rest in peace to him once more. The message after the blessings is to please be very careful who you smoke with and who you cop from if you don’t buy from dispensaries. Be extra careful if you (somehow) still cop block work. If you do, remember that it’s 2023. That’s nasty work.
INSTANT UPDATE: My brother Brad just blessed me with a grizzle of Thin Mint GSC. It’s smoking like a ’72 deuce and a quarter with a fucked-up carburetor AND in need of an oil change. The marathon continues.
Y’all ever took a shit at work that was so crazy that you went on ‘head and left for the crib afterward? Y’all ever take a shit and don’t completely squeeze one of the turds out and get left with all types of shit on your toilet paper AND your hand when you wipe your stankin’ ass? Word. Me either.
I remember when the great, late Baltimore Street legend and The Wire alum Little Melvin said he saw a nigga win a million in one dice game on a ‘70s West Baltimore Saturday night. He also said he got cracked one night, immechiately went to the trunk, retrieved $180K and kept rolling. That era was so amazing. No internet, no social media, no snitching, no GPS, no HIV/AIDS, no COVID, no bullshit. Syke. Nostalgia is a beautiful thing. But shit’s been fucked up since we hopped up off those slave ships. When you walk through the garden, watch your back...
I’m sending a myriad of prayers to those affected by the earthquake in Turkey and Syria. The earthquake, 7.8 in magnitude, killed more than 4,000. The death toll is certain to rise, as thousands of buildings were leveled across a vast region. News of the earthquake caught my immediate attention. I had the privilege of tutoring a couple of young Turks at their home in Tenafly. I was paid handsomely per session, and the love and loyalty of the family (down to their canine Ginger) was/is amazing. I love all of them. I’m still in semi-regular contact with the oldest child (now a senior in college), who texts me from time-to-time to vent about politics and race or ask serious questions he can’t ask others. Their mom is a beautiful and tough lady who raised four children on her own. She was an actual Olympic athlete. They’re top-tier humans. Prayerfully, none of their kin were harmed. The earthquake did not occur in their area. Please keep Turkey in your prayers. As my guy E was quick to point out about his homeland, “An inefficient dictatorship [Erdogan] means helping the survivors is going to be slow.”
I laughed so hard at the first episode of That ‘90s Show that I damn near hurt my whole left side. I’m actually scared to watch the rest because a) I’m gon end up binging the entire season in 1.5 sessions or b) the first episode was a false-positive and the series is basura like That ‘80s Show. (3 thinking emojis)...nah. I didn’t get through 15 minutes of Episode 1 of that atrocity. That shit was dumpster juice from the shits beside the 7/11 near the circle in the Wood.
Bass in this place means peace, see you later. Time to shake a leg and get up in the wind, sugar.
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