#MNR: IT’S ONLY A TEST

#MNR: IT’S ONLY A TEST
 
“I’m from the ghetto, so yo, this is how I shed my tears.”
Mr. Cheeks
 
Life is good. Even if I perish tonight, life is good.
 
I’ve spent far too many days feeling down. I could explain further, but it is of no importance to do so. Pick a reason to be down – I’ve probably been there. I’ve taken every blow life has dealt. Yet, I’m still standing. A wise woman once reminded me of this long ago, when I was extremely low on self-esteem and self-worth. I didn’t have an epiphany (no need to fake). But I did take heed and store it in my mental treasure chest. It has been the best piece of wisdom I’ve ever received, and I’ve received plenty of prudent wisdom. But this time – this time, I got out of my own way and let God. I don’t know who is going to be blessed by this, but to God be the glory.
 
I don’t want to transition directly into f*ckery, so...how about the nice weather we’ve had the past couple of days? Ok. I’m good.
 
How the fuck are y’all doing? I hope everyone is good. If you aren’t, hold it together and see me after class. I got y’all. Now, for those of us feeling like 3.5M in blue faces, grab a seat and pull up to the roundtable. You are free to pour of the libations and are encouraged to roll up. I’m higher than Keith Hernandez during and after a 1981 road trip to New York, just not off the yay. That was that good shit too, 100% fentanyl-free and straight from Pablo Escobar & Associates. Damn...a one-on-one off a glass table from the ‘80s does sound...
 
Chill, nigga. You wildin’.
 
My bad y’all. I was having too much fun. I’m just playing. I’m just serious. But back to the fuckery.
 
Good evening, and welcome to Monday Night R*w, frequented by stoners and bail-jumpers alike. I’m your friendly host, Mr. Ty Nitty Monday. Y’all could be reading any of the 4.74B blogs on Phil Knight’s internet, but you’re here with us. Please tip your hats to CEO as he passes infused snacks and bourbon shots to all. He’s a benevolent and gregarious individual. And he’s a fucking pro with the THC oil. Get at us if you are in need of his services. Supreme love and respect to all the ardent readers of this blog. We do this for y’all. Big ups to any new readers. We appreciate your patronage. Tell a friend, you heard?  I even have a message for anyone who doesn’t particularly like us. Eat a dick. And thank you for reading. Yes, this is for you. Heifer.
 
For the record, I was a hater way before it became popular. Y’all MF fake and act like y’all like a MF. I don’t. Fuck him/her and five niggas who like them. I’m not a hater on a person’s success; get yours my nigga. I’m a hater of hoe ass niggas. I refuse to act like a hoe ass nigga is or ever was cool. I’m not mingling with a square in my atmosphere. Y’all can hee-hee with them. I’m going to the bathroom after I go outside to smoke a J.
 
For any of y’all reading this blog and thinking, damn – this sure took a solid left turn from the intro. That’s a fact. In the words of my guy (the great, late) Sean Price, “I’m like that.” It took me a long time to realize that I have an attitude problem, but ever since – Roll Tide! I apologize if I offend you unintentionally. I didn’t mean it. I’m a jerk. To know me is to love me, or something to that effect. If I intentionally offend you, oh well. Tough titties, but somebody gotta suck ‘em.
 
I’m so glad that winter is coming to an end. I need some warmth for my old bones. It didn’t get too crazy this winter, but we had a little bit of action. The week the temperature dipped into the teens was my toughest time of the winter, but once I felt that type of chill, the rest of winter was a breeze. But damn it, come 3.19, I’m kicking winter TF out like Marty Mart. Time to go, bruh. You’ve tormented us for far too long. Ease your punk ass down the damn road. Good riddance. Remember winters past when you had to smoke outdoors? That shit was treacherous. I forgot who said it, but one time someone said that you shouldn’t smoke if you can’t smoke inside during the winter. Fuck that nigga. Shut your punk ass up. If I want to smoke a J in 29-degree weather, pass me a MF lighter and a bonfire. Please and thank you.
 
They said they want that old Monday back. That “piss in the hole where a toilet used to be in a stall in the old GWB bus terminal” Monday. That “light his reefa up in an upscale establishment ‘by accident’” Monday. That “he got put out 20 years ago and still isn’t welcome today Monday.” But y’all aren’t ready for him. Y’all would just read in astonishment and talk about me after prayer meeting Wednesday night. Do what you must. This is for the day one aficionados. Y’all been aboard this train since the @iamdjgreen era. Yes. I’m still ig’nant. And yes, I’m still riding with y’all.
 
“Fuck all that! Shut yo’ bitch ass up!” What if that happened in the break room tomorrow morning while you’re over-sugaring your coffee and fighting the sleep apnea slowly corroding your body? How would you react? Would you stare in astonishment? Would you record it on your phone? Would you too swing on that bitch? Would you do all three at the same damn time? I just want to know for research purposes.
 
Pass me one of those left-hand cigarettes, good brother.
 
Please forgive me if I ever stole out of your medicine cabinet.
 
BLESSED EARTH DAY TO MY BROTHER NICK “BIG DAWG” BROOKS. LOVE, INFINITE. #NFL
 
Y’all know where the fuck to @ us.