#MNR: MR. N-WORD
“Never let a wishbone grow where a backbone should.”
Perhaps it’s just me, but I’ve seen plenty of ass whoopings this past week on my Twitter TL. I’m no authority in the field, although I’ve had my fair share of decisive victories 1v1. I’ve also taken an L or two, but my career winning percentage is HOF worthy. I could be lying with the HOF speculation, but damn it, it’s my blog and I’m free to embellish if I choose to.
Anyway...irrespective of my Hall of Fame worthiness, I am very opinionated when it comes to determining the worthiness of an ass whooping. I would like to start by saying that getting jumped/banked/etc. is part of the game if you tend to enjoy fighting. The consensus is that a “real” one should never seek help when looking to engage in hand-to-hand combat. Man, fuck all that honorable shit. I’m from uptown NYC and the back roads of the Hali. That’s filthy B-staircases and dirt roads, the perfect blend of grimy and dirty. In the words of my O.G. D. Maull, “the only fair fight is the one I won.” Translation: I’m getting the dub, fuck the rules. Ok. Now that we’ve established fighting equity and integrity (or the lack thereof), we shall now identify four circumstances in which an ass whooping is ALWAYS valid: putting hands on women, putting hands on children, putting hands on the elderly and bothering folk who were previously minding their damn business. The first three reasons don’t even need to be discussed in-depth. Keep your MF hands off women, children and the elderly, or risk getting hands and feet put on you. The last reason usually garners more debate than the first three, which are cut and dry examples. I don’t see much debate in it – leave me [you, whomever] the fuck alone. Others tend to disagree.
There’s footage online of an altercation on an NYC MTA train between two patrons seated beside one another, a Hispanic and a Black male. The brother is minding his business when the Hispanic gentleman stands up and over him, which is ALWAYS an act of aggression. They exchange words for a bit. The brother asks the gentleman to calm down and take it easy. The Hispanic gentleman continues to talk aggressively as he ignores the brother and begins to pull out a pair of children’s scissors (yeah, I don’t know why, either). The brother stands up, faces the Hispanic guy and proceeds to throw a vicious right jab (possibly a 2-piece) that sends the Hispanic man’s head back into the glass-encased ad display above the seat he was sitting in. The punch(es) and subsequent back of the head contact with the display immediately rendered the Hispanic man unconscious. He sank back into the seat and passed out into the lap of the gentleman sitting next to where the brother was previously seated. The seated gentleman’s reward was blood on his right coat sleeve, courtesy of a massive nosebleed. The footage ends shortly thereafter.
The beauty and ugliness of a Twitter debate is that no matter what, there will always be those who take the minority opinion, meaning they disagree with damn near everyone else. People commented that it wasn’t that serious. They said that the brother could have diffused the situation and avoided violence. Others mentioned that context was lacking, and we don’t know exactly what caused tension between the two. In all fairness, this is a plausible point of argument. We don’t know the totality of what led the brother to react in the way he did. But this is where insight and inference are vital. All of us who are from NYC as well as those who are familiar with the subway know how hectic it can get on those platforms and trains. Mental health is at a breaking point in the city. Subway crime is the highest it’s been since the ‘80s. Commuters don’t know if a MF is serious or joking. Underestimations could easily end in calamity. Some of us live by the wish creed (IYKYK). We aren’t going to wait to find out if your plan is sinister. We’re going to be proactive because being reactive could cost us our lives.
I stand with the brother. Shit, I stood with Bernard Goetz. For those who don’t know, Goetz was an NYC subway commuter who shot a couple of Black kids on the train who threatened to rob him in the ‘80s. He’d previously been robbed on the train, and vowed he’d never be a victim again. He began to carry a .38 pistol. Those kids fucked around and found out that day. Fuck race. I stand with my folk but wrong is wrong. They were looking for a victim and ended up becoming victims. I especially detest the tree huggers who claim that Goetz, the brother on the train and whomever else who reacted with violence when under duress on the train were wrong in their actions. I will never fault someone who ensures self-preservation (under these circumstances). There are consequences for fuckery. I don’t give a Boeing 747 flying fuck if you bleed out and die on a train or platform. You bothered and/or assaulted folk who were simply trying to get to or from work or school, folk who were minding their business. I haven’t a shred of compassion for people who prey on others. If he dies, he dies. Fuck ‘em.
When I was trapped in that hospital room three years ago, I had nothing but time. Time to think. Time to atone. Time to strategize. But damn it, that shit did not add up to the 13-16 or so hours that I was awake over the two weeks I was a patient. Leisure was necessitous. I’m thankful for my iPhone whatever I had at the time; those apps (Netflix, Hulu) held me down. But even then, there were times when the hospital-provided cable was a needed go-to. I’m certain most of you healthy, beautiful souls haven’t spent extensive time in a medical facility so you might not know this one thing: hospital cable is super ass. Well, Englewood Hospital cable is super ass. I’m talmbout ESPN2 but no ESPN. MTV2 but no MTV. I can’t remember exactly which channel, but the hospital cable also lacked one of the major four networks. ARE YOU EFFING SERIOUS? It was like being slowly tortured in a non-painful yet painful way. AND the NFL playoffs were in full swing. I definitely missed a playoff game (is there a pissed off emoji?) But, in the spirit of endurance that I’ve been blessed with, I found refuge in an unlikely place: Catfished on MTV2. They had a block of scheduling dedicated to the show. I watched all types of MF get catfished: ugly MF, pretty MF, dumb MF, and dumber MF. Bear in mind that the show had been running for a few seasons by 2020. In this era of the smartphone, I maintained incredulity. Ain’t no damn way. How, in 2020, can a MF be catfished? Smmfh. Fast forward to...yesterday.
I’m at the day job perusing social media (like how I usually do) and I keep seeing tweets about battle rappers getting catfished by a “fan.” The fan’s name is Sasha...I guess. I heard another name as well, but I’m certain her name is Sasha. Anyway, Sasha woke up and chose revenge. She was in a Twitter Space airing all types of laundry. She talked about battle rap culture representatives (battle rappers and at least one well-known blogger) sending her money, engaging in non-FT phone sex and sending all types of dick pics. In turn, she gave them a fake pic of a girl who I think she said was her friend. The girl was chubby. So is Sasha. I have no problems at all with chubby women, but that’s because I’m a philanthropist. I never had a particular body type, either. I preferred my Nubian queens, but I had my Hispanic phase, and I didn’t turn down the occasional snow bunny. But the battle rap committee will have you believe that if she isn’t MyVerse (IYKYK), she’s trash. We all knew that was cap, yet confirmation is always quite humorous. Sasha was in the Space unabashed and impervious to ridicule. She shifted the focus to these thirsty battle rappers. Did I mention she [allegedly] has receipts? Sasha mentioned a few names; I won't (do your own research if you’re pressed to know). But her revelations revealed a couple things. The first and obvious thing is that battle rappers are no different than any other thirst bucket outchea simping for a nut. The second is that you MF have obviously never seen’t Catfished. Let’s revisit the ubiquity of the smartphone. How in the fuck would you participate in any type of salacious activity without first vetting the partner? Y’all didn’t FT the woman to make sure she was a) a woman and b) that she was who she claimed to be? Y’all dead could have been having phone sex with another man. And, in a culture birthed in extreme male toxicity, that may be enough for one or more of you thirsty niggas to skydive off the George Washington Bridge in shame. Is Sasha guilty of revenge porn, having committed acts that, if a man committed them, would very likely get his ass “cancelled” by popular culture AND the battle rap community? Factsolutely. But we all know of the blatant double standards that exist BOTH WAYS in the culture. I’m not making this a forum on that; I’m merely stating the obvious. I’m not faulting y’all for being thirsty. I’ve been there. I, however, cannot excuse sending bread to a MF you’ve never even met. That’s non-cipher, pun and double entendre intended. At the end of the day, y’all just proved that the battle rap community has dummies of all types. This is just the latest head-shaking incident. I’m sure there will be more to come.
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