#MNR: Winter Meetings

MNR: Winter Meetings

They want the old Monday back. That fuck you and five niggas who look like you Monday. That don’t invite that fat nigga over here again Monday. That piss on the floor of Waala’s bodega cuz he was too slick with his verbs Monday. Well, you’ve got him. This is for my day one fans, the DJ Green page fans. I never left y’all. Buckle your safety belts. Light all the marijuana you please. Po’ up. It’s time, Black.

I’m tired of you slow ass millennials calling every new release from your favorite mentally retarded lil rapper a classic. And not just the slow ones, but all the new jacks and younger established vets. Drake is my nigga. BUT DRAKE ONLY HAS ONE CLASSIC ALBUM, HIS SO FAR GONE MIXTAPE. Yes, Drizzy is the king of Billboard. Yes, Drake makes really good music. But aside from his legendary mixtape, he does not have a flat-out classic album. In my opinion, NWTS came closest. Yes, Drake does make hit after hit after hit. But hits do not automatically or alone make an album classic. These things in company with the hits do: cohesiveness/arrangement of songs & interludes (Kendrick GKMC), lasting impact/staying power (Illmatic), cultural significance (Public Enemy It Takes a Nation...), uniqueness (De La Soul 3 Feet High and Rising), peer recognition (Raekwon Purple Tape). Some albums have these and other intangibles that aren’t even on the list, yet they still add greatness. To me, Hov’s Vol. 2 wasn’t even in his top 5. But it’s a true classic because Hov and the Roc camp realized they had the open lane to the Baja...and they not only dunked, they shattered the backboard. Hov finessed the Annie MF for the clearance and they laced “Hard Knock Life” in legendary fashion. By the time the album dropped Hov already had 3M MF ready to buy that thang hot off the press. He’s made much better music, before and after. But Vol. 2 put the biggest numbers on the board. Wave wise, no artist had a bigger wave headed into his debut album as Earl Simmons, Dark Man X. X had long since ripped the YO (Yonkers) and NYC underground rap scene. He killed the mixtape circuit. He shined as the guest artist on the big LP circuit (“24 Hrs To Live” off Harlem World, “4,3,2,1” off LL Phenomenon, “Time to Build” off the slept-on debut classic The Natural by Mic Geronimo along with fellow then unknowns Hov and Jah Rule). He was ready to literally explode onto the rap scene. And he didn’t let us down. It’s Dark and Hell Is Hot is still one of the best albums I’ve ever heard, flat-out. Everyone not from Harlem remember the Swizz tracks. But Uptown niggas and rap junkies know Harlem’s own Dame Grease made that album pop. D brought his own unique DMX style to the table. No rapper is like D. Understand, plenty of rappers had a monumental wave headed into their debuts and fell face first (Canibus and Bleek to mention a couple). Few lived up to the hype. Even fewer exceeded expectation. DMX gave us one of the most amazing, unique, and impactful albums of all time. It continued to sell and rock through Summer ‘98, even with both Pun and NORE debuts doing ridiculous numbers and getting sick amounts of spins. Then at the end of the year X did the unthinkable. He dropped a whole other album Holiday ‘98 (Flesh of My Flesh...). A whole other classic. The last thing that makes a classic a bonafide classic is the almighty generational test. If no one talks about the album five years after it’s released it’s not a classic. Classic albums withstand the test of time. Stevie Wonderful’s Songs in the Key of Life is 42 years old, and largely considered to be amongst the best albums ever released. If you pick it up now, it is still relevant to this day. It has a message applicable to today’s times. Love is still in need of love today. That hasn’t changed. It never will. That’s classic. So stop calling that fucking C+ album your favorite dumb ass and sensitive lil rapper just dropped a classic just cuz you like his feature single featuring the Migos or Drizzy. Next week you’ll move on to dickriding the next lil remedial English rapper’s Twitter overhyped project. Matter fact, just STFU.

Within the past calendar month, I’ve seen a MF actually tweet that that sapo Tekashi is the new Tupac Shakur. Nigga, what? I don’t have a run down nay stat from Pac. I’ll just leave you with this...Pac blew trial and did his time on the Island and then up north in Clinton Max. No isolation. No PC. Tupac was a stand up nigga. Tekashi is a government snitch. Someone oughta drown the ignorant lil monkey who said it. But my bro the Vvillain got a track on that pussyclot.

I digress...the other night I actually read a nigga tweet that Lil Baby and Gunna are the new OutKast. Nigga...WHAT??? I’m not gon knock those boys. I fux with ‘em (a little). But come on bruh. Do you really believe these two continuation school scholars can fuck with Andre Benjamin and Antwan Patton? Have you even listened to all their shit and not just the two or three songs your mama played around the house while you shit your no frills pampers? Please...do us a favor and stick a metal fork in the first electrical outlet you see. It’s crazy that we live in an era where the
all-time greats actually have to listen to complete idiots compare them to at best average and inexperienced rappers. Only in rap does this type thing happen. But I can say that about a lotta things with concern to rap. Bottom line, shit, I dunno. Nothing’s sacred anymore. I digress.

I’m taking orders for my latest book, a menagerie of love poetry titled In Search of Serendipity. Personalized signed copies are available for $15. Many blessings.

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